Thursday, April 28, 2011

some thoughts on good doctors

Doctors get a bad rap.  Some of them definately deserve it.  Some of the things we blame on doctors aren't  their fault at all - some of it is the insurance or legalities of their job.  Some of it is probably beng tired of dealing with sick people all the time.  But, in my years I have definately met some bad doctors for one reason or another.  Doctors that just throw medications at symptoms, doctors who only think inside the little box they know - or doctors who don't want to deal with someone who is in chronic pain and illness.  It's probably frustrating for them too. 

But because of some of the bad doctors I have met - I'm even more grateful for doctors who really do try to take the best care of their patients that they can.  Today I got some paperwork from my doctor who worked doing research for hours this week looking up some testing she is going to run for me.  This took her a long time and a lot of waiting (not always patiently) on my part.   Last week I showed up for the blood test and found out that they needed to do more looking into the test since it was very specific and she didn't want to do it wrong.  She has been working with me for over  years - and others in her office were working with me as a 7 year old kid with asthma and then again as a teenage when I started dealing with more complex health issues.  It is good to have a relationship with a good doctor.  I am very grateful to have this specilist as well as my pcp who I have been with for many many years as well.  It is tempting when you are always dealing with pain and health issues to want to ditch any doctor who doesn't or can't offer real help right away - but I think if the doctor is at least trying to help and is willing to work with you sticking with it is the best option. 

But back to my gratefulness:  I am just SO thankful to Dr. M for helping me with this and taking time (which I wasn't paying her for!) to research the best tests possible for me.  It is sadly rare for doctors to be able to take extra time or to have the patience to work with a person like me who may never get fully well on this earth.  So, for all of you doctors out there: Be like Dr. M - be loving and caring and be willing to go the extra mile.  It just might be the encouragment someone needs to keep going today.  And for all your patients out there: stick with it!  Be your own advocate and be willing to work with your doctor - open communication is always best with doctors.

Those are my thoughts for today!

Friday, April 22, 2011

O Sacred Head Now Wounded - Fernando Ortega

This is a moving protrayal of the sacrifice Jesus paid for us and the hymn I wrote about a few moments ago ...

O Sacred Head Now Wounded

Standing up for the Christain faith is NOT popular in our culture.  Or, should I say that standing up for Christian faith that is exclusive is not popular.  It is VERY culturally acceptable to talk about "god" or spirituality or each person's own individual way to peace etc.  But when the Bible says that Jesus Christ is the ONLY way (John 14:6 " Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.' ")  it becomes much less acceptable.  We live in a culture where "All roads lead to Rome" and absulute truth is under constant attack.  In fact I am sure that there are those of you reading this blog who are mad at me right now for taking this stand.  I love people and care about what people think - but ultimately I stand before God on what I believe and what I stand for publically and privately.

Well, on this Good Friday I am here to say that I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ who died for my sins (and the sins of the whole world) and raised from the dead 3 days later - to bridge the gap between the holiness of God and sinfulnes of man.  My entire life is based on the redeeming work of Jesus Christ - the hope of heaven and the constant friendship I have with the Creator of the universe.  The work Jesus did on the cross brings me to my knees.  All day the words to this old hymn have been in my heart - and I want to challenge you to read them OUT LOUD :

O Sacred Head Now Wounded

Text: Anonymous; trans. by Paul Gerhardt and James W. Alexander


1. O sacred Head, now wounded,

with grief and shame weighed down,

now scornfully surrounded

with thorns, thine only crown:

how pale thou art with anguish,

with sore abuse and scorn!

How does that visage languish

which once was bright as morn!

2. What thou, my Lord, has suffered

was all for sinners' gain;

mine, mine was the transgression,

but thine the deadly pain.

Lo, here I fall, my Savior!

'Tis I deserve thy place;

look on me with thy favor,

vouchsafe to me thy grace.

3. What language shall I borrow

to thank thee, dearest friend,

for this thy dying sorrow,

thy pity without end?

O make me thine forever;

and should I fainting be,

Lord, let me never, never

outlive my love for thee.

"What laungage shall I borrow to thank Thee Dearest Friend?"  Words utterly fail me as I think of the agonizing death that Jesus died to save those who have turned their backs on Him (ME! and YOU!).   The end of this hymn is beautiful - "should I fainting be, Lord, let me never, NEVER outlive my love for Thee."  No matter what you are facing today that makes you want to faint - fear or pain or anything else - keep your love for Jesus alive.  That is what matters more than anything.  And this is my prayer as I go into this Easter weekend.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

BE right where you are

I just got home from spending an hour and a bit at the local Senior Center at their "Senior Singers" class.  No, I'm not lying about my age - I am really 32 - but God has blessed me with a social calendar lately that is more made up of 80-90 somethings than 20-30 somethings.  I say blessed because it IS such a blessing!  To be able to hang around people who have been through most of their life - seen history in the making, raised children, succeeded in long marriages, lived through the deepest griefs of their lives yet still have joy in their hearts .. and more.    I want to learn all that I can from these ladies and men.   There is such wisdom and beauty that only comes with age.

As we sat there singing songs like: "Swanee", "Moon River", and "I've Been Workin' On the Railroad" my heart was very full.  I love old songs that have history and memories for so many generations. 

I know that to embrace this lifestyle I have been given, there have been certain changes to my social calendar.  And I really am ok with that. This way of living is really good for my health and good for my soul.  I don't want to waste any experience that God gives me as a gift.  I am VERY thankful for this time in my life that I get to spend with those who have gone before and who can teach me important life lessons.  I am rejoicing in the blessings that He pours out on me as I yeild to whatever it is He wants me to do in this moment. 

Life is VERY good if we allow God to be the One in control and if we jump in 100% wherever He leads us.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Adjust Yourself

So, I was sitting in the waiting room at the hospital the other day - in between some testing I was having done, and I overheard something that might change my attitude forever.

As I sat there an elderly couple came and sat down.  She was so cute and pettite her white hair framing her black skin beautifully.  He was wearing the same kind of cap that my late Grampy used to wear - and his hands were worm from a life of hard work.  He called someone on a cell phone and left a message to the effect that he needed help fixing a broken down car.  (I wasn't trying to listen but they were sitting super close and it was unavoidable).  After he got off the phone he seemed agitated and said something to his wife about how frustrated he was about the lack of transportation because of the broken down car.  Then his sweet frail little wife said something that I will remember forever.  She hardly looked up but said something about how she wished he would stop fussing over the car since there was nothing he could do about it - and then these two words that jumped out to me: "Adjust Yourself."  Followed by: "You'll live longer if you don't let things bother you."

Adjust Yourself. 

The circumstanes in life are NOT always sunshine and roses.  There IS pain in the world.  There are things that cause us a lot of frustration if we let them.  We can't control the circumstances - but what we can do in those moments of frustration is adjust ourselves. 

I'm NOT always happy.  The name of my blog might lead you think that that is my goal. No.  Happiness by the world's standards is fleeting.  But the true and lasting joy that comes from adjusting ourselves to the plans and love of God in every circumstance is possible every single day.  Take some time today and ask God if your attitude needs adjusting.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

One Project Per Day 2

I've been pretty good with keeping up with my "One Project Per Day" thing.  It helps me to have lists and to have a list of things that I can do around my house helps me to be able to do something productive even when I don't really feel like doing anything major.  I have stated listening to a Christian radio show in the evenings and I usually take that time (significantly after dinner to give time for  a rest and hang out time) to do the dinner dishes quick (another of my tricks is to do the dishes as I cook so that it is only serving dishes and a couple plates to wash after dinner) and sometimes do a little "project" as well.  Last night I washed and disinfected the microwave which only took me a few minutes but it makes me feel so good whenever I open it today to have it all clean and sparkling.  Some of you might be in the possition with your health that doing things like these are just impossible.  Well, I believe the concept of doing something - ANYTHING productive during each day can still be accomplished no matter what your state of health is (and yes I am speaking from experience here).  Even if you are bed-ridden you can take the time to write a note to someone or make a phone call.  If you are in too much pain to talk (which I totally understand) take a moment to pray for someone in need.  DO something!  It doesn't have to be household chores - it could be knitting a baby blanket, or organizing your purse.  The reason these things are so important and the discipline of doing something is because ,"idle hands are the devil's playground" (as our grandmother's generation would say) - when you are not doing something productive you begin to either feel sorry for yourself which is useless - or you begin to be nosey into other's lives - which is just not nice.  When you have a project or something that you can take a little pride in doing it makes you feel better about yourself and turns your eyes toward God and reminds you to be the best that He created you to be (that is what I have noticed at least).  No excuses because of being sick.  Now, I know that at times the things we are able to do are limited -( I have walked through times like that -  but the concept is still doable and worth trying for sure. Not to overdo it or disobey doctor's orders - but to learn how to live and be productive (even in prayer!!) with the body that God has given each of us and the circumstances we find ourselves in each day - pain or not.

Ok here are some of my projects over the last week:
Fridge: Before: totally unorganized and full of yucky stuff (is tofu supposed to be pink?) and After:

My dish cupboard: was a total mess in particular the vitamin and pill area so I took a baking dish and organized the vitamins etc and it is so much better!  Everything in it's place!  (sorry no before shot)

Bathroom cabinet: might not be too impressive to you but it was literally full of sheets and towels that were thrown wherever they could be thrown and now each thing has a spot .. again.

My little "kitchen window" shelf is all decorated for spring now! St. Patrick's Day stuff put away.

Probably most rewarding has been getting out in the garden now that that weather has been warmer.  I find it so good for me to be outside and makes me deal with pain better.  I LOVE being in the garden.  I tell myself to just do a little each time I go out so that it isn't too much for me.

What projects are you doing today?  My project for today was to bake some sugar-free cheesecake for sweet Husband - not sure it turned out but he is so nice and loved anything I bake.

Monday, April 11, 2011


Occasionally I like to write out reasons I have to be thankful.  I think this is important for everyone to take the time to really think about the blessings in our lives, and purpose to look at the possitive rather than focus on pain or any circumstance that is hard for us.  Here is my list today:

1. God.  I know that's kind of an odvious one but I am just so so grateful that every moment through each day I have Someone to talk with Who understands everything and loves me unconditionally.

2. Sunshine!  I spent some time outside today and it was actually warm!  I love sunshine.

3. Rain - I also love rain - it makes it so cozy for taking a nap and being all cuddly with warm blankets.  I love that God created variety in weather.

3. Gummy Vitamins.  I know - kinda random, but I just love them!  I take calcium and fish oil in children's gummies and it makes me smile. :)

4. Music.  LOVE music.  Yesterday we got to stay for church (sometimes we can't because of Husband's work schedule) and I just loved being able to sing worship to our Great God.

5. My Husband!  He just walked in and I love how my heart skips a few beats every time I hear his voice.

6.  Flowers.  We planted pansies, impatients, alyssum and lots more and I just get so happy every time I see them.  This weekend I am putting together wedding bouquets for a bride and I am so excited about it!

7.  Friends. I'm chatting with one of my oldest and closets friends from college - I just love how we can know that the other one means without lots of explaination. 

8. The ability to write and read and connect with people over this blog!

9.  Farmer's Markets - we got lots of veggies yesterday and I am excited about eating them for dinner!

10.  Pictures - I love looking at pictures and remembering fun times and also looking at friend's pictures too.   I am always taking pictures because I want to remember everything!

There is so much fun that I am thankful for - but I would also love to hear your list of thankfuls today!  Send a comment!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Keep Your Eyes Open!

I've been reminded this week of how God brings us just what we need at the perfect time.  Sometimes it doesn't seem like He does.  I have had plenty of times in my life where I shout into heaven: "WHY" - why do I struggle with constant health issues when others are free to do the things they want to do.  Why do I feel alone in the area of infertility.  Why are we living paycheck to paycheck?  Sometimes, it definately feels like God is on a totally different timeline - with a different view of what is really important in life.  And in actuality I think a lot of living a life of joy amidst our circumstances is choosing to shift our priorities to those of God - constantly working through His grace in growing closer to Him each day so that our "needs" are alligned with what He knows is best for us.  So that our time is in line with His greater timeline.

I also think that as we walk through life we need to keep our eyes open.  We might feel that God has forgotten about a particular need we have, but if we look closly we will see how He brings answers into our lives at the perfect time.  Here are some of the ways I have seen God work in the resent days:

1. Doctor - I had contacted my doctor and didn't hear back for a long time, I thought that probably she was not going to be able to help in this situation - but as it turned out she has worked on the issue at hand and is going out of her way to help me out with a blood test that my insurance won't cover - working on trying to keep it as cheep for me as possible.  Then on the very day we found out about this test we received an annonomous gift in the mail for almost the exact amount that we will need to pay for this testing!  No clue who sent that to us (if you are reading - THANK YOU!) God's provision as we stepped out in faith to pursue this.

2. Beauty of Creation: Wanted to get out yesterday in the sun so we went to the park with my Grandmother.  It was just so lovely and sunny and we got to feed the ducks and geese by hand.  It was just one of those times that you know God planned - we had so much fun just enjoying creation.

3. Met a fun couple yesterday who are also struggling with infertility and looking into adoption.  We don't have any friends who are in the same boat that we can talk with and share with.  We absolutely love all the precious babies that our friends and siblings have brought into our lives - but sometimes we just feel alone in wanting a baby but not having one.  Blessed by these new friends and the way God brings people into our lives at the perfect time to encourage each other.

4. Got a comment this morning from a new friend of the blog - randomly found the blog this morning while sipping coffee.  Sounds like she was encouraged by my blog (which all  the credit goes to God for any of that!) and I am just happy to see that she found me!  This week I have been really struggling with feeling like the enemy wants me to stop blogging out of fear.  Fear of people.  Fear of rumors.  Fear of uninformed judgement.  Seeing a new friend who is encouraged by what I write today gives me new strength.  I know this is what God wants me to do at this time.  I know there will be those who stand against what I am doing, who judge my life ... but knowing one person is helped by what I do and knowing that God is the One who knows all and will judge fairly - these things keep me going. 

Perfect timing.  A Perfect God. 

I would LOVE to hear your stories of how God has met you at the perfect time with just what you really needed.  Please comment on this post to share!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

One Project Per Day

I started a new "thing" this week.  It's called: "One Project Per Day".  As a bit of an overachiever, but also sometimes a bit lazy, I needed a good balance between doing everything in one day and being totally useless the next 3 days.  I made a list of things I would like to get done around the house and yard - things that are kind of extra and that feel overwhelming if I think of doing them all in one day.  Here is an example:

I needed some signs in our veggie garden so that I would know what was where - someone (who will remain annonomous) lost my tiny paintbrush which is what I will blame the sloppiness of the signs on - oh and the fact that I don't know where the chop saw is (and YES I do know how to use a chop saw) to make my own nice even little pieces of wood - I just found these in the kindling box. ;) 
Aren't my baby broccoli cute?!?!

Ok so potatoes aren't really up yet (except one that is in the back)- and the onions are freaking out after being transplanted.  I will have to add some pictures when the garden actually looks good.

THIS is what I would love my signs to look like - this was a bridal shower gift which I just really really like a ton. :)  As you can see the garden is definately in process.  So far I have the broccoli, peas (just came up ysterday!), onions, potatoes (only one is showing it's head), and lettuce greens which you can see some of here:

My BABIES!  Not only do I feel great when I get something done like these little signs - but I also love the natural therepy that being outside with my hands in the dirt gives me.  The whole world could be against me, but out in the garden I feel peace and total bliss.  If you don't have a garden, at least plant some flowers in a window box or a bot on your deck - it is so so good and a great way to escape from any type of pain.
Don't overdo it - just tell yourself: One Project Per Day!  (Ok I'll admit I did 3 yesterday - but they were all little ones and lots of fun)

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

How Can I Help?

I'm a housewife.  I wanted this job my entire life.  Sometimes, when my husband is tired from being away from the home all day, and working so hard to make ends meet I wonder what I am doing to help.  When you add all the medical bills that I am constantly creating it can make me feel bummed.  My husband wants me to stay home which I love.  I'm kinda old-fashioned I guess but I love being the one greeting my husband at the door with the smell of freshly baked bread on the air.  While I do work some odd jobs from home and love it - I still sometimes need to remind myself that the things I do here at home are really valuble and are a great help and encouragment to my sweet husband.

Well, here are some hints to what I can do to be a good housewife to my amazing husband:
My husband appreciates the time and creativity I put in to make our sweet basement apartment feel like home.  I enjoy decorating and I love to make the house look fresh and new by switching things around.  I don't have a window in my kitchen so this shelf (which my Daddy made for me a million years ago) is my "window" in front of the sink.  I decorate it for each season and have so much fun doing it!
I make yummy (usually) and nutritious food for my husband and I to enjoy.  The way to a man's heart is through his tummy you know.  (this is a chicken burger seasoned with herb de provonce, with a kale and lavender balsamic mayo and carmelized onions - delicious oh and with and a home made bun)
This was the first meal I ever made for my husband when we got home from our honeymoon.  We loved that deck (and the meal wasn't half bad either - chilli with fresh cilantro and limes)  Notice the flowers and presentation.  My Daddy always told us that presentation was super important when making a meal, and it's amazing how much more I can bless my husband when I put even a tiny bit of effort into making it look nice and romantic.

And last but definately not least: lots of kissin' is another way I can help my sweet husband.  As a new wife I am learning that sometimes the most kind thing I can do is take a second to give a kiss before he walks out of the door or when he comes home at night.  Even if I am not feeling 100% or it's been a long day, or I'm sick of doing dishes ... a simple kiss can make him feel like I care.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Fun and Healthy Snack Ideas

Eating healthy is something that everyone should be doing.  Not just those with health issues.  Over the years I have definately had my struggles with eating healthy - when I don't feel good the last thing I want to do is cut up veggies and make a salad.  Often the last thing I want to do is eat at all - I would love to just live on popsickles and fruit snacks when I don't feel great.  Refined sugar is not good for the immune system so my husband and I are doing our best to stay away from it most of the time.  I am also staying away from wheat which is actually a lot harder than staying away from sugar - but I seem to be doing ok with it.  Here are some of my current favorite snacks which have no white sugar in them:

Gummy Frozen Fruit: I don't love the texture of dried fruit like raisins - so I get the no sugar varieties and then pop them in the freezer.  Then when I want a little something reminiscent of gummy bears I take some out and eat them!  DELICIOUS!  The texture of frozen dried fruit is heavenly if you like that gummy texure.  The best are cherries and apricots.  YUM!

Strawberry non Ice Cream :   I take fresh frozen whole strawberries and cut them up as little as possible (fine slices work best) then whip up organic whipping cream and at the last minute add fresh vanilla bean and avage necter.  Put the cream over the strawberries and if you need a little more sweetness drizzel the whole thing with avage again.  My husband and I knew that we just couldn't give up ice cream - but with this invention we don't even miss it.  I had some ice cream after doing this for a few months and was definately dissapointed with the ice cream.  This also gives you fiber with the whole strawberries and is much more satisfying as agave is much more gentle on your body than refined sugar - doesn't seem to create the cravings that junk food does.

Organic Carrots:  Ok so this one is not very oiginal at all - but for years I thought that carrots were bitter and even thouh I kinda liked them I wouldn't eat many of them raw ( except the ones that I grew which never were very many).  Well, my mama told me that the organic ones are delicious and so like an obedient child I went and bought some the same day.  LIFE CHANGING!  I get the big Costco bag or organic local carrots (whole not the baby ones which are slimey) and eat about 3 at a time when I need something to chomp on.  The flavor is amazing and sweet and just yumminess. 

Brussel Sprout - Sprouts: for this one you need to have a garden.  This was born out of my experience farming with my husband's family in the early spring when we didn't have much to harvest.  Plant brussel sprouts (yes even if you hate the soggy yellow stinky ones you had at great aunty's house as a kid) in your garden this spring and then in the fall you will have brussel sprouts.  That's all fine and good but don't dig up the plants when the winter comes.  Next spring they should send out little shoots of deliciousness which are so yummy that I never even brought them into the house - just eat them right in the garden.  YUM!

Kale Chips: You may have heard of these - just take some nice firm kale and bake it drizzeled with olive oil, pepper, salt and maybe chilli flakes.  You have to bake them until they are crispy but not bured (if they get burned they will taste bitter). You can use these like chips and dip them in hummus or something else or just eat plain.  I know some people don't like the flavor but if you like kale these are amazing!

Secret Smoothy:  I just start dumping stuff in the blender usually something like this: 1/4 cup organic plain keifer, 1/4 cup organic carrot joice (or other juice preferably veggie juice), frozen banana, some frozen berries, maybe some honey or agave - then I blend and drink!  YUM!  I know people who add spinach leaves and you can't even tell! Or flax meal, tofu etc.  A great way to secretly get fruits and veggies in for kiddos as well as good pro-biotics with keifer or yogert!

I would love to hear your ideas for yummy and healthy snacks!

Monday, April 4, 2011


Yesterday I sat with my sweet mama as we drove to a baby shower, and we talked about worship and being wives.  It was so refreshing and I just love my mama so much! 
"Here I am to worship. Here I am to bow down, Here I am to say that You're my God."

I find that the words to this praise song get stuck in my head a lot.  And I don't think it's an accident.  I have been noticing that the words come to me at "funny" times - like when I am cleaning the toilet, doing the dishes, folding my husband's socks, making dinner, talking to a friend who needs someone to listen when I don't feel like I have the time to be on the phone.  I have no question in my mind that the words to this song are put in my mind by God Himself.  He desires me to do everything for His glory - no matter how small or how "insignificant" - He can be worshipped through even simple things.   I am still a new wife - and part of the adventure with this blog has been to search being the best wife that I can be - with no excuses because of my health. In the "little" tasks of keeping a house and being a wife I want to worship God.  HERE I am to worship.

But, the words to this song go even deeper with me. 

When  I was a little girl if you had told me that I would grow up and NOT be able to grow a baby inside me I would have ... I probably would have felt that my life would be meaningless.  I wanted to have a baby - physically have a baby, more than any other thing in life.  If I would have known that at age 32 I would not have children (biological or adopted) I would have figured life was over for me.  If when I was 18 you would have told me I would be 30 by the time I got married I would have been shocked.  If you would have told me that I would be living in the US and not Africa and I would have thought that my life could not be worship to the God I longed (still long) to serve in mission work.  If you would have told me 3 years ago that Joshua and I would not be working on his family farm, I would have felt hopeless.  If you would have told me that I would be walking with my husband through school - having to be apart most days and evenings when we are still newlyweds I would have cried. 

But, in those times when I feel that the place I am in isn't one I would have chosen, God whispers these words into my heart: "HERE I am to worship.  HERE I am to bow down.  HERE I am to say that You're my God."  For very few of us life ends up exactly as we planned and dreamed.  We might look at other's lives and say that THAT would be a life that would be easy to worship God with every day -(if I was a missionary I could be really worshipping God every moment etc).  But, God has given to each of us a life.  And no matter where we are - that is the place we need to choose to worship God.  The world might think that to be really happy we need to have what we always dreamed of having.  In this blog I am exploring a different kind of happy - true and lasting joy that comes from acceptance of what God has allowed in our lives and turning to Him as our strength and ultimate joy.  When we choose to worship Him right where we are a deep an lasting joy overcomes everything else and we know that we are right where we should be. At the throne of grace.

Choose this day - right HERE to worship.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Oh for Pity sake!!

This morning I had the joy of sleeping in as long as I wanted (which ended up being til about 9) .. I actually have that pleasure pretty much every day. I woke up and had yummy rice bread toast - but could have had a number of other tasty and healthy things from my fridge or pantry. I decided that since it is the birthday of my Great Aunt I would make some of my favorite shortbread tea cookies for her - and I LOVE to bake and cook. I put the cookies in the sweet little oven I have and they turned out lovely. I talked with the sweetest mama on earth today - and I just love talking with her. Then I got the mail and a box full of our wedding pictures (which we finally got developed!) came! Grammie and I had a fun time looking at pictures and just visiting. I watered my baby veggie and flower starts and am REALLY excited about the gardens that I get to tend this spring and summer! I LOVE planting things! This afternoon I think I may do a little laundry, run some errands and think of something delicious for dinner for us. My husband will be home so maybe we will watch a Friday night movie!

Yes, I do have chronic pain. BUT that does not mean that I don't have a full and VERY Happy life. Each one of you has things in your life that are no fun - we ALL do - we all have responsibilities (I get sick of doing dishes all the time - but it's part of loving to cook!) that we get caught up in at times. BUT it is so important to choose to live a life of thankfulness and joy every day. I get tired of people saying that because I am sick that they pity me - I have NOT asked for pity!!! Yes, I have chosen to live a life of transparancy hoping to use my experience to encourage others who might be dealing with health issues etc. Being honest about the fact that I have health issues is not because I want pity from any of you! I want this experience to be used! I don't think God allows things in our lives to be wasted. I have a wonderful life and God is always showing me the things I have to be thankful for no matter what! I am very grateful for this place that God has put my husband and I - yes he is in school and he just wants to get done, it isn't maybe the first choice (we would love to be on the mission field or adopting babies) but it is a good place and a place of a lot of growth. And I am blessed beyond words to have this deep relationship with my sweet Grammie and the joy of her company when my husband is at work in the evenings or doing homework. God has blessed us greatly with allowing us to live here and be close to Grammie - and I do hope we are a blessing to Grammie as well!

I thank God for my life and the joy of simple things that I get to take part in every day. I hope that you can say the same about your life no matter where you are today.