Why am I blogging??

Life isn't fair (yes I sound like my Mama), or easy, or a fairy tale, or perfect.  How's that for a downer reason to blog?!  Hold on, it gets better.  The fact that it isn't always easy or that it often involves some kind of pain makes it amazing because it is in these imperfect, hard, and sometimes painful moments that we see our need for God.  And when we see our need for God and surrender our crazy, messed up lives to Him; amazing, beautiful, and perfect things happen.

Originally, I started blogging because I was annoyed that people thought I couldn't live an awesome and joy-filled life because of  health issues I had.  I did NOT want to surrender to the victim mentality - so I thought blogging would be a good way to challenge myself and encourage others who might be in a similar boat.  I wanted to prove to myself and the world that I could choose to live in joy and live WELL not in spite of, but even because of the thorn in my flesh. 

Over the last few years ... I was correctly diagnosed which enabled me to begin seeing good changes in my health, and I also made some lifestyle changes that help me deal with it.  So today I am functioning REALLY well - and most people would never even know that I have chronic health stuff!!

 Am I always "Happy"?  Nope.  But because of God I am able to live in peace and be truly filled with joy every day as I seek Him first (I'm gonna be honest and say right now that is not every day - I get selfish and take my eyes off of Him and then I am a mess). The journey we are on is now (2014) leading to our dream of trying to start a family through adoption.  If I thought dealing with health issues was painful, it was nothing like missing and loving babies I have never met, and I need God more every day. I am truly excited for what God has for us in the next chapter of our life - whatever that will be!!

I have learned that in living honestly before the world that there will be judgement - about health, about adoption... I am learning that I can use my voice to encourage others as well as challenge myself, but ultimately, I live to please the God that made me and knows every step of my future.  I want my life to be a little mirror in an ocean of mirrors that reflect who God is to those who want to know.  I long to hear that Voice say : "well done My good and faithful servant".  THAT is why I am blogging.