sleep

The first night after being admitted I woke up in a drugged haze and asked where my husband was ... my nurse said (in a very angry voice) "He probably needed a BREAK' ... and then as she walked out she said    "You are going to wear him out".  Aside from the fact that this nurse was totally rude and out of line in judging our marriage - this is another area that I can be loving to my husband even while in the hospital.  I wasn't born yesterday, believe me I know that sickness is exhausting for those who love me.  It breaks my heart to see the grief on my sweet husband's face.  I also KNOW that my husband loves me and he wants to be able to take care of me and be with me. However, I asked him to go home every night because I know that is one way that I can show my love to him by helping him get a good sleep.

in the hosp.

I have not been on the blog lately - I am in the hospital after a CT scan showed swelling around my liver and so i have been here for the past 2 full days. The doctor is trying to piece together all the random issues that I am having ...

As far as being a good wife while in pain - I have been really trying to focus on my sweet husband while being in the hospital. sometimes it takes asking him to go home to sleep or asking him to go make sure that he eats .. he would like to just sit with me and hold my hand all the times, but my loving him is sometimes shown by being ok enough for him to feel the freedom to take care of himself even while he is taking care of me.

I hope this made sense - I am on a LOT of pain medication. Even in this I have joy and I have joy in the strength God is giving me to do my best to be a good wife even while in the hospital!

March!

I was unable to blog yesterday as I am dealing with being quite sick with something like a kidney stone or infection ... I had wanted to not skip any days but have realized that is impossible for me.

BUT - now we are into a brand new month! I want to focus on a specific aspect or area of living in chronic pain each month - last month the focus was on grief. This month I want the focus to be on how to be a good spouse while in pain and ill. As a young wife (we've been married almost 8 months!) I am well aware of the fact that my health and pain affects my sweet husband. I am also aware that I desire to glorify God in my marriage and be unselfish as I deal with pain. I want to focus on all of these aspects this month.

Tonight I decided that a pizza for my husband was a good idea. It would be easy to feel bad because of the fact that I cannot always cook a good from-scratch meal for my hard working man when he comes home from work. He is totally happy with his pizza, and I need to just allow myself the ease of a ready-made dinner and not beat myself up about that. I can show him love by doing what I can to provide yummy food for him even when I am sicker than a dog ... just one way that I can love on him while in pain.