Thursday, October 21, 2010

Am I the answer to my parents prayers?

So often I hear people say things like: "I don't care if I have a boy, or a girl, as long as it's healthy.", or, "We just want a healthy baby." I'm not "healthy", and I have pain every day. This makes me wonder: am I the opposite of what my parents probably prayed for me?

I was suppoed to be born in October. It was a summer day in early August when my mom started having contractions and found herself in full-flung labor. daddy called his mom and said she was in labor and my Grammie said: "Oh no honey, she's not having the baby til October". But a few hours later the doctor announced: "It's a girl!" My parents, who were in Bible school with my 23 month older sister didn't have a home or money or health insurance. In 1978 the over $6,000 hospital bills to keep me in an incubator and feed me with a tube were stagering. They had to set up payment plans to cover the bills. I am sure that as they were holding this tiny baby they were scarred. I could have had a lot of health issues as a baby - but nothing really serious showed up - but I never was the healthy kid - plagued with asthma, eczema, allergies and then pain from when I was 11 on. I still wonder if being 2 months early had anything to do with my poor immune system and issues - but I guess we will never know.

I'm glad that I lived. It hasn't been easy being sick my whole life. It hasn't been easy on my parents, or my entire family and friends. But I trust a God who uses and redeems even the hard parts of life. Nothing needs to be wasted - even the pain.

I pray for our future children. My husband and I long for the day God will put a baby in our arms. I pray for health - but in the same breath I pray that God will give us the children that we need and we will be the parents that they need - healthy or not. Every one of us on this planet is going to suffer. God give us the grace and faith to be all that He wants us to be in whatever suffering we endure and may it all be for His glory.

1 comment:

  1. I am sure you were the answer to your parent's prayers. I hope your prayers come true soon.