Blessings

I wasn't the MOST social person in college. In fact at the end of my Freshman year I had one girl on my HALL say that she had never seen me outside of my room. (which isn't true I did go out ... but wasn't exactly doing what the popular kids were doing) ... During my first year I had two super close friends who I hung out with non-stop. Most of the time we were doing things like listening to music in our rooms, taking walks around the little town, reading "Little Women" together and talking about everything. Let me back-track: in high school I really didn't have a lot of friends, in fact most of the time I just hung out with my siblings (which was a ton of fun). I remember walking down the stairs when I was about 16 and hearing my mom and dad talking about how to get me to hang out with friends. I was happy being alone for the most part. I liked to cook and garden and babysit. I wasn't the cool kid into sports or fashion or - heaven forbit : BOYS - ick! So when I went to Bible college just after turning 18 I really didn't know what it was like to have close friends. Thankfully, all that changed during the first month of college. In February that year I got sick - I had always had health issues but in February I began having severe pain in my side and when I went home for spring break my mom took one look at me and said that she wasn't going to let me go back. I left my room all set up, my classes (which thankfully my professers let me take through the mail), and worst of all my two best friends. I was devastated. But I was also so sick that I knew I couldn't go back. I know that during that first surgery and time at home visiting scarry doctors that my friends kept me going through their cards (yes REAL letters not just email!), care-packages and even visits.

It's been 14 years since that first year of college. I have lost touch with most of my friends from that time. But those 2 girls that became my best friends during those college years are still precious to me. One of them just came down for a visit. She lives three hours away but she continues to drive down and spend time with me. The two of us have been through thick and thin together. Through times when we were mad at each other - but it always ends up that nothing can make us ditch the friendship. We've both had tons of surgeries and times when we had to be strong for each other. But through it all we're still there for each other and I know that we always will be.

Sometimes I get mad at myself and at my situation because of the fact that I never graduated. I sometimes feel like a failure because of that. BUT, as I sat today with one of the dearest friends I have and watched her kids play I realized that maybe God had me go to school not to get a degree and have some kind of stamp of approval on my life ... but rather to gain one of the biggest and best blessings of my life in this abiding friendship.

I guess life is like that. Sometimes what we think we want more than anything is just a roadmap to get us to where God really wants us, and for Him to give us what is more precious than what we went looking for in the first place.