The feeling of being in limbo is no fun - and is a very common feeling for most people, and definitely very common with those of us with constant health issues. Never quite knowing what is around the next bend and being very familiar with sudden upheavals has a way of paralyzing me. Or, I guess I should say that it has a way of tempting to paralyze me. I also think that this stage of life my husband and I are in (being still newly married and in school) creates a lot of that limbo feeling - a waiting for things we are working toward and wanting to be done so badly! Being on the older side of this phase in life (in our early late 20s early 30s) gives more of a feeling of limbo - everywhere we look our (even younger!) friends are having babies (some of their 3rd already!), buying homes ... and we are just trying to get through each semester without debt! Having chronic health issues seems to put us in limbo too - never sure what next week or even tomorrow will bring or how I'll be feeling on a particular day, planning for surgeries and treatments ... it just never ends and every time I have a "bad" day it puts me back a few days and then I have to pick up the pieces and get into a schedule again.
I've mentioned before that I like to be in control - and that being in pain and this place of life we find ourselves is a very good lesson for me that I am NOT in control one little bit!
So, how do I get through it? One thing I am learning is that I just have to get back up and get on with life. It is SO tempting to just give up and lay around watching TV all day long. When I feel like I want so badly to have a home of my own, to have kids, to have a husband who is out of school, to have health ... I just need to put those things out of my mind because in this moment those things are not given to me. What I need to do is get on with life. If today that means that I have to lay low and take care of my health that IS what I need to be doing, if today that means getting out and taking a walk because I feel better - that IS what I need to be doing. Life is never ever going to be everything we dreamed of - at least not until heaven - but we have the choice every moment of the day to get on with life - the life we have been given.
I once heard lady who was in her late 20s or early 30s say something that stuck with me. She was single and so many single people feel this need to know if it is God's will that they be single. She said, "Today it's God's will that I am single." Rather than trying so hard to look forward and find a way out of the limbo of being single, she found peace in grabbing onto today and the fact that she was indeed single in that moment.
I don't want to waste one moment being sorry for the situation I am in, or longing for what I have not been given. I want to grab hold of this moment for the glory of the God Who made it, and live 200% for Him in everything I do!