Hope Deferred

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12

This verse has been on my mind over the past couple of days.  We went to a the doctor on Monday, thinking that we might begin treatment for a curable disease .. and left with more questions and the possibility (based on blood test results) that this is still something I will have to live with for my life on this earth.  What does this mean?  More testing which feels like the story of my life - I'm amazed I have any blood left!  While I have come to a place of being able to live well and function well even though I am not in the body I would have chosen, it would be so wonderful to be free from pain and illness.  I sometimes go back and forth about what to share on this blog and if any of you have questions regarding specifics please do email me at aliwenz78@gmail.com. 

Anyway: back to hope deferred.  I've had many times in my life where we thought we found the answer - the cure, to take away all the pain I live with day to day.  I've become very acquainted with hope deferred over the years.  I could allow hope deferred (or as my Daddy calls it: death of a vision) to make me a victim and steal my joy.  BUT, that's not the kind of life I want to live today.  I want to live with joy no matter what dream may have just been shattered in my life.  No, not happy happy jumping up and down joy - but quiet peaceful joy that believes that even in disappointment God is holding my hand.  Hope beyond hope that there WILL be a day with no more pain - on this earth or in heaven.   A dream beyond a dream that God will redeem even my disappointment for His glory and that He will use me even in this broken place that I so often find myself. 

Because of the GOD I have hope in, I have every reason to smile and have true joy in my life.