Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12
This verse has been on my mind over the past couple of days. We went to a the doctor on Monday, thinking that we might begin treatment for a curable disease .. and left with more questions and the possibility (based on blood test results) that this is still something I will have to live with for my life on this earth. What does this mean? More testing which feels like the story of my life - I'm amazed I have any blood left! While I have come to a place of being able to live well and function well even though I am not in the body I would have chosen, it would be so wonderful to be free from pain and illness. I sometimes go back and forth about what to share on this blog and if any of you have questions regarding specifics please do email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Anyway: back to hope deferred. I've had many times in my life where we thought we found the answer - the cure, to take away all the pain I live with day to day. I've become very acquainted with hope deferred over the years. I could allow hope deferred (or as my Daddy calls it: death of a vision) to make me a victim and steal my joy. BUT, that's not the kind of life I want to live today. I want to live with joy no matter what dream may have just been shattered in my life. No, not happy happy jumping up and down joy - but quiet peaceful joy that believes that even in disappointment God is holding my hand. Hope beyond hope that there WILL be a day with no more pain - on this earth or in heaven. A dream beyond a dream that God will redeem even my disappointment for His glory and that He will use me even in this broken place that I so often find myself.
Because of the GOD I have hope in, I have every reason to smile and have true joy in my life.