Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Soften my Heart

Years ago I used to lead a high school girls Bible study at our small church.  It was a position that was kind of dropped into my lap, and which I will forever be grateful for.  Even though I was a college student and they were in high school, some of my very closest friends came from that group.  A couple of the girls began leading worship songs at the end of each study playing guitar and singing.  The song below became one of our favorite songs which we sang pretty much every week without fail:

Soften My Heart

(Andy Park)

Soften my heart with oil,

Open my eyes to see

Fill me with understanding,

Soften my heart to receive

I want all that You have for me Jesus

All that You have for me

Open my understanding

Soften my heart to receive

I want all that You have for me

Don’t let my heart be fallow

Don’t let my heart be hard

Water me with Your spirit

Soften the ground of my heart

Copyright © 1991 Mercy/Vineyard Publishing. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

The words to this song sustained me through many years reminding me to give my heart always over to the Lord and to allow Him to work in making me soft toward Him and used by Him. 

Today, I am in a much different situation in my life.  Still feeling kind of isolated in the big city rather than my comfortable little home town on Whidbey Island.  I've been missing ministry to youth, our small church, our family farm etc.  There are many unknowns right now in our life.  Yesterday my sweet Husband and I celebrated not only Independence Day for our Country, but also our 2nd year anniversary of marriage.  All day, I couldn't help feeling like things are about to change in our lives ... again.  Our 2 years of marriage have been characterized by much change (which has been good mostly although hard).  We can't see the future of what the next year will bring.  We don't know the future for my health, for our desire to be parents, for our dream of mission ... sometimes when faced with unknowns I find myself wanting to put up walls around my heart so that it won't get hurt.  I find myself wanting to be hardened so that I won't be disappointed again if my dreams fall through.  But the words to this song remind me to allow my Redeemer Jesus Christ to keep me soft and open to what He will do.  Yes, sometimes that means more hurt, but in the end having a pliable heart in the hands of the God of the Universe is never disappointing from an eternal perspective.

Soften my heart with oil ....  This is my prayer today.

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