I have heard a lot of talk around Mother's Day about people who are infertile and how hard it is for the woman longing to be a mother to handle Mother's Day. While I will admit that I do long to be a mama - Mother's Day is really not that painful to me. I focus on celebrating my wonderful (best EVER!) Mama and my sisters who are also amazing moms. I do long for the day when I can be in this exciting miraculous club of motherhood - but Mother's Day isn't the hardest for me. Father's Day is much harder. Maybe it's because I am the reason my Farmer Boy is not a Daddy. Maybe it's because I see him playing with our nieces and nephews and I know he would be an incredible father. Maybe it's because I am overwhelmed with his love - that he would choose to give up ever having a biological child to be my faithful husband. Maybe it's because sometimes, when he doesn't think I am watching, I see that look in his eye when my nephew lays his little head on his shoulder, or when our godchildren run up and hug him. I know he is experiencing pain and the uncertainty we are facing. I know he wants to be a Daddy.
And I hope he will be. I do feel that in his heart he already is a father - he loves our Someday Babies so deeply, and he reminds me so often that he is thinking of them, praying for them, and working hard to find them and bring them home. He deserves to be honored on the holiday dedicated to fathers. So this year I went shopping and found something just to let him know that I appreciate the love he is giving already to our unknown children. I didn't know what to get - but when I found a tiny board book that was published in 1948 - I knew it was perfect. It was called "The Carrot Book" and told the story about a little boy who planted a carrot seed. Everyone told him it would never come up. But he faithfully watered and weeded the garden. Everyone discouraged him and kept saying it would never grow. But he didn't give up. And then one day - it came up! He had never given up and he grew a beautiful big carrot. Silly story maybe - but I thought it fit and described everything I was feeling about my brave and determined Husband.
He will be an amazing Daddy someday.
Oh and have I mentioned lately how head over heels in love I am with my Farmer Boy? :)