I can't believe that Christmas has come and gone now .. I'm sitting here looking at a pile of openned gifts under our Charlie Brown tree, full of chocolate that "Santa" left in my stocking, and missing my husband who is back working a double shift today after 2 days off.
To make a long probably boring story shorter: after this past month being so sick with stuff I was sicker than probably I ever have been on a Christmas (except maybe the time I had major surgery right before Christmas!). I couldn't really eat much, or move around much, or even talk much. I was in emense pain most of the time, and struggling with horrible allergies the rest of the time. I wanted to do so much more - wanted to be up and helping wash dishes or put food on the table with my sweet mama and sis ... I wanted to play with the kids, wanted to play games with my siblings ... but I was stuck sitting trying to just get through the pain and being able to breath through the asthma.
At one point, I had to leave the family gathering at my in-laws (I have allergies to some pets) and go to my parents and just take a bath to try and ease my breathing. They were playing a game and I wanted to stay so badly. I wanted to be with my husband after being apart for several hours already that day ... but I had no choice if I wanted to stay out of the ER. I was in the bath when my mom came in and handed me the phone - my husband was sad and he thought that he should have come with me and that I shouldn't be in a bath trying to breath on Christmas day all alone. But I told him to be with his family and enjoy the time and that I was ok being alone at that moment. I think the reason that I was ok, and the reason that this Christmas was still merry in my mind is that God took me aside from so much of what makes Christmas stressfull - the rushing around, the busy activities. Instead, I was forced to sit quietly and watch my families. I had beautiful moments of seeing my newborn nephew and thinking of how helpless he is and how Jesus came and put himself in that possition when he was born as a baby so many years ago. I got to see my husband playing guitar and singing and our 1 year old nephew just gazing up at his uncle and swaying to the old Christmas songs. I got to see parents flirting, and kids giggling, my Daddy and Mama crying as they read a poem I wrote and recieved the gift of shelter given to needy people in their honor ... and in this quiet reflective pose I was given, I was able to enjoy Christmas in a beautiful way. I was forced to be totally alone for moments through the day - taking a nap because the pain was too much to sit up, going into the other room to use my nebulizer several times, the bath ... In those moments I was able to talk with Jesus and I think that constant communication I had with Him on His birthday celebration was the reason this Christmas was so refreshing.
And it probably wouldn't have happened to this extent if I hadn't been in so much physical pain and sickness.
I could say: this Christmas was the worst ever, and in some ways it was... but in so many ways it was also the best and that is what I choose to focus on today.
Merry Christmas to all of you! And please share something God taught you this Christmas or something wonderful you learned ... I love to hear from you!