Thursday, February 10, 2011

My Knight

I used to dream of my Knight in Shinning Armor - who would come and sweep me off my feet and carry me away on his white horse to a castle were we would live forever and he would protect me from everything.

Well, I was a hopeless romantic in some regards. I guess I still am.

When we got married one day I looked on my husband's night stand and was surprised to see the hatchet from our wood stove sitting there next to the alarm clock and Bible. Hmmm. I was not sure what he needed a hatchet for while he was sleeping, so I asked him. "I want to protect you" was the answer that made my heart flutter like a newly smitten bride’s only can. Now, (disregarding the fact that my husband is kind of confused when he is awoken from a deep sleep so I hoped he wouldn't use the hatchet on me someday) I was very touched and I felt instantly safe knowing that he was prepared to protect me from intruders or anything that might threaten us in our little home.

Thankfully, I haven't had to see my husband using the hatchet to protect me, but recently I saw my husband protect me in a different way.

We all have times when for some reason or another words are said that are either untrue or hurtful in delivery or content. In those moments it is easy to question everything in our lives - and some questioning is healthy and good, as we can always learn from every situation. But, there are also lies that we can begin to believe about ourselves and others that can take any opportunity to take hold - even well-meaning advise can create questions and make us doubt ourselves, those around us, and even God. Satan uses any situation he can to feed lies to us – and he uses our most vulnerable spot to let those lies take hold. He wants to paralyze us by the fear or lies that we believe, so that we cannot be used of God in the unique place He has put us. Those lies are not from God as God is the Author of Truth. There is a great book called: "Lies Women Believe and the Truth that sets them Free" that discusses this in detail.

I was faced with a situation that made me question everything about myself and my relationships and my health and my ministry through this blog ... and I was beginning to believe lies about everything. I was beginning to believe that God couldn't use my pain. I was beginning to believe that there was no one I could trust in my life (well, I’m probably going to be working on this one for while). I was beginning to believe that I was a torment to those closest to me because of my health. I felt useless and like hiding away forever. The only thing I knew was that I needed to turn to God because I knew that He would show me the truth and that He was where healing would come from. I have gone through things like this in the past, but this time it was different. Because as I went to God with my tears and feelings of helplessness - I saw that gentle hand holding mine, those strong legs walking beside me when I was too sad to stop walking, those loving arms holding me while I cried myself to sleep, those sure words telling me not to believe the lies that were creeping in.

It isn’t just me and God anymore in those deepest moments.

I have a Knight beside me, walking with me when I feel alone, fighting for me no matter what, and protecting me from the worst enemy of all: lies that Satan whispers to me in my moments of weakness or pain. He is willing to fight for me even if that means being honest enough to tell me when I am wrong. But to also tell me when others are wrong in their concerned (even well-meaning) assumptions, or judgments about me. To remind me of where God has brought me, and where God is leading me … no leading us, because this journey isn’t just God and I anymore. To tell me not to give up on what God has led me to do to encourage others through this blog or any other way. To not hide away from life because it hurts sometimes. My Knight works for the KING of all the Universe and I am so happy that the best thing He does for me is continually bring me before the throne of the King where I find everything I need and more.

I have my King and my Knight. And that's why I will keep on writing.


  1. So true Alicia! Thank you for the reminder and encouragement that no matter what, my knight is here to protect, save, encourage and direct me back to the King!! Love and prayers for you and Josh! :)

  2. Your faith and trust in the Lord our God is encouraging. You remind me to rest in the Lord. It's a blessing to being able to read your blog. Thank you for continuing to write.

  3. I'm so happy that you are blogging again, my friend. I sit in awe and wonder at the gift you have with expressing in words the beauty of your mind and soul, which have come from the hand of God.

    You bring healing and blessing with everything you write, Ali. You really should consider taking all of your blog posts and publishing them as a devotional some day.

    I'm blessed that through the love of your Knight and your God you have come out on the other side even stronger than you were before.

    "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

  4. King + Knight = Kingdom come!
    You and Josh are going to make great parents one day!

  5. Ali, I forgot to say that I have the book "Lies Women Believe and the Truth that sets them Free." It is a wonderful book and so freeing! :)

  6. No one is useless, God has a use for us all. We just need to turn to him anytime we feel that way. Thank you for your continual reminders to do so. Keep it up.

  7. You took a negative situation and absolutely DID learn from it!! I think that we have to learn to LET GO of those people or the times they say things that are disguised with a premise of "concern," yet they are simply lashing out because of their inability to completely understand another person's experiences in life. Most people find it impossible to relate to a person suffering with chronic pain - like the stumped toe you grab while hopping around yelling like a sailor - they can't imagine it happening OVER and OVER and OVER, back to back. It's not a concept easily understood. Then, there are different levels of chronic pain. I had a family member once compare their headache to my mother's dying pain from rampant cancer that killed her that same month - she was suffering intensely, then had a otherwise healthy family member come in an rant and rave about her headache. The level of understanding can be, in itself, difficult to relay to others. Some people just want your illness/pain to be gone, so it is off their plate. I pray for heartless people because I have seen the tables turned on them as they lose their health through illness/injury and it is certainly not pretty cause they are normally the ones who go through the greatest of emotional turmoil of all. Regardless, I am glad you share, in spite of the criticism because you have plenty of people who are encouraging. Your raw emotion, shared without fear is something you need to retain. Do not let anyone snuff out that bright light. Lana C.