I used to dream of my Knight in Shinning Armor - who would come and sweep me off my feet and carry me away on his white horse to a castle were we would live forever and he would protect me from everything.
Well, I was a hopeless romantic in some regards. I guess I still am.
When we got married one day I looked on my husband's night stand and was surprised to see the hatchet from our wood stove sitting there next to the alarm clock and Bible. Hmmm. I was not sure what he needed a hatchet for while he was sleeping, so I asked him. "I want to protect you" was the answer that made my heart flutter like a newly smitten bride’s only can. Now, (disregarding the fact that my husband is kind of confused when he is awoken from a deep sleep so I hoped he wouldn't use the hatchet on me someday) I was very touched and I felt instantly safe knowing that he was prepared to protect me from intruders or anything that might threaten us in our little home.
Thankfully, I haven't had to see my husband using the hatchet to protect me, but recently I saw my husband protect me in a different way.
We all have times when for some reason or another words are said that are either untrue or hurtful in delivery or content. In those moments it is easy to question everything in our lives - and some questioning is healthy and good, as we can always learn from every situation. But, there are also lies that we can begin to believe about ourselves and others that can take any opportunity to take hold - even well-meaning advise can create questions and make us doubt ourselves, those around us, and even God. Satan uses any situation he can to feed lies to us – and he uses our most vulnerable spot to let those lies take hold. He wants to paralyze us by the fear or lies that we believe, so that we cannot be used of God in the unique place He has put us. Those lies are not from God as God is the Author of Truth. There is a great book called: "Lies Women Believe and the Truth that sets them Free" that discusses this in detail.
I was faced with a situation that made me question everything about myself and my relationships and my health and my ministry through this blog ... and I was beginning to believe lies about everything. I was beginning to believe that God couldn't use my pain. I was beginning to believe that there was no one I could trust in my life (well, I’m probably going to be working on this one for while). I was beginning to believe that I was a torment to those closest to me because of my health. I felt useless and like hiding away forever. The only thing I knew was that I needed to turn to God because I knew that He would show me the truth and that He was where healing would come from. I have gone through things like this in the past, but this time it was different. Because as I went to God with my tears and feelings of helplessness - I saw that gentle hand holding mine, those strong legs walking beside me when I was too sad to stop walking, those loving arms holding me while I cried myself to sleep, those sure words telling me not to believe the lies that were creeping in.
It isn’t just me and God anymore in those deepest moments.
I have a Knight beside me, walking with me when I feel alone, fighting for me no matter what, and protecting me from the worst enemy of all: lies that Satan whispers to me in my moments of weakness or pain. He is willing to fight for me even if that means being honest enough to tell me when I am wrong. But to also tell me when others are wrong in their concerned (even well-meaning) assumptions, or judgments about me. To remind me of where God has brought me, and where God is leading me … no leading us, because this journey isn’t just God and I anymore. To tell me not to give up on what God has led me to do to encourage others through this blog or any other way. To not hide away from life because it hurts sometimes. My Knight works for the KING of all the Universe and I am so happy that the best thing He does for me is continually bring me before the throne of the King where I find everything I need and more.
I have my King and my Knight. And that's why I will keep on writing.