My sweet Farmer Boy has/had a very busy day today - since he is going to school to be a teacher he starts the day off leaving at 7 to get to the high school where he mentors as part of his education requirements - then he has classes back to back all the way til 5:30 when he finally gets to come home. Now, regardless of any grand illusions I might have of being a beautiful 1950s housewife wearing a cute little dress and greeting my husband at the door in a cutesy apron (although I do have 2 cutesy aprons which I wear for fun from time to time) - I usually greet my husband from my afternoon/evening nap which generally starts around 4 and goes til I make myself get off the couch. I've noticed that my pain level is better when I get some afternoon rest, and the long evening is more doable when I am not totally worn out (we stay up til 11 or 1 in this house between the homework and other responsibilities). So, how do I bless my sweet husband after his hard and long day at school? Here are some of my tips - and I am just over 2 years into this marriage things so I am sure I have a lot to learn!
1. ALWAYS greet him with a smile. Nope. There are really no exceptions. Well, ok maybe a couple. But in general he is far too wonderful a man to be greeted with anything other than pure joy (which isn't hard when I see that beautiful face). (WARNING: I think it's selfishness but sometimes I feel this thing inside me wanting me to just DUMP on him when he walks in the door - if I've had a cruddy day or am upset about anything ... this is best done later!)
2. Ask him about his day and then ... LISTEN. I am sometimes (ok maybe a bit more than sometimes) impatient. I already know that he doesn't like a certain teacher, or that such and such a kid was a pain today. But he needs to tell me these things - if I don't let him then he will withdraw thinking that I don't care about his day.
3. Have food ready. The old saying: "the way to a man's heart is his stomach" is somehow true. My husband LOVES walking into the house smelling like dinner. He gets excited about whatever I make (I am SO blessed to have a man who is not picky!). Sometimes (like today) I send him a text half way through his hard day telling him what's cooking for dinner - I think it helps him know that the day won't go on forever and after it's done he gets to sit down and enjoy yummy and healthy food made by the woman he loves. Now, you may wonder how I can have food ready when I am usually taking a nap? Well, it's called planning ahead. I've song the praises of crock pots and casseroles - but another of my secret weapons is the freezer. Today for example I pulled out a frozen meat loaf (which is his favorite) and will put it in the oven in about 10 minutes. By the time he gets home it will be smelling yummy for him.
4. Even if he's busy find time for romance. We're having to learn that there isn't always the time we wish we had for romantic stuff. We can't and don't go on many "dates" at this season in our lives. Money goes to paying tuition, and time is non-existent for my busy Student. So we're learning to take what we can get and make the most of it. Last week we took a 20 minute walk looking at the neighbor's gardens. Just walking hand in hand was wonderful. We sat in the hammock together. He read out loud one of his required reading books while I crocheted. We prayed together. He helped me make pizza on Friday night and we talked over cutting up kale and tomatoes and grating cheese. We send texts through the day. He calls me on his way home. Quality time has to be grabbed whenever you can grab it!
Do I wish that I was the perfect wife - always beautiful and energetic? Yes. But, learning to live with what you've been given means being grateful for what you have and living 100% for God's glory no matter what. Today that means being the best wife I can be - even though I might be wearing sweats.