Thursday, May 6, 2010


I don't know how many times I have heard the words, "Well, just rest and then you'll get better", or, " We can't wait til you are better!" I know that when you don't have chronic pain or illness you don't understand that "getting better" is really not something that is probably ever going to happen. I think this is one of the most (COMPLETELLY unintentinal!!) hurtful things that someone can say to the one in chronic pain. We live in a fallen world, and this world is not perfect so some of us have chronic health problems that will never go away until heaven (oh the joy of heaven takes my breath away!). When someone tells me that they are waiting for me to feel better, or thinking that if I do a certain thing I will be cured ... it may come with sweet intentions, but to me it feels like I will NEVER be accepted for who I am unless I get "better". I cannot focus my life and energy on wishing that I was healthy .. that is very likely never going to happen fully to me on this earth. I would so much rather focus on being the very best that I can be in the body and with the pain and limitation that I do have. I would so much rather have the people around me accept me right now and see the good that can come from my life .. just the way it is! I feel so empowered when someone praises God for the things He is doing through my broken and tired little life ... rather than always looking and wishing for something that is not and may never be.

It is very powerful to realize the weight that simple words and greetings to each other can have! Would that we ALL take the time to think about what our words can do to others, how we can either encourage them and make them feel used of God -- or discourage them and make them feel like they will never be good enough - never be "better".

To be honest, I long daily for health and for a relief from pain .. BUT I would not trade the life that I have been given .. and maybe this is the Better that everone is in search of!

Maybe "better" is more about what we do with what we have been given than being given everything we want.


  1. One of the most hurtful things someone said to me was on Christmas Day. We went to church together as a family, it was very hard for was hot in the church and I didn't feel really good, but I put on a great show for my family...we were all happy in the moment. A very close family friend gave me a big hug...blah blah look so good...blah blah blah...HOW ARE YOU FEELING? Worst question to be asked right? I smiled and said "Today I feel good" His hug stopped he stood back and looked at me and almost sarcastically said "WHAT does that mean??". I was crushed. I guess I spolied his day. People want us to be perfect, and if we aren't it spoils their day. As I say...take me the way I am, love me the way I am.

  2. Oh yeah, the 'hope you feel better' line...

    Better than what?

    I spoke to someone on the phone one day after being absent from work. They said 'so are you feeling better?' and I said that I was a bit better. 'Well, when do you think you'll be completely better?'. I replied, 'I will always be like this.'

    I agree with you - sometimes our illnesses give us more perspective than other people, and we really appreciate the things we can do when we are able to.

    I enjoy reading your blog.