For some reason, someone who is sick all the time is suddenly transported to be a child forever - and everyone has the right to tell that sick child what to do! "wear your coat!", "eat your veggies", "are you getting enough rest?" ... the world is full of people who know what is best for that sick child and they will go o great lengths to "take care" of that sick child!
Ok, Ok this is not true - but to someone who is in chronic pain or sickness - it often feels just like this. Things that would never have been said to a healthy person are said to one who is not. This over-protective attitude from those who go to church with that sick person, or faily members is because of love ... but honestly it doesn't often feel very loving! It often feels to that ill person, that others are trying to control their life for them, don't trust them, or just want to make them feel stupid. When people treat me like this I just want to scream: I am an adult!!!! There is a line between being loving and supportive (we all need support) and being controling and demeaning. Those without the experience of chronic pain need to examine their motives and how they try to "help" the friend in pain. Remember that even someone in pain is a person, an adult and that they want to be treated as such!