Thursday, May 27, 2010

Ways to Help!

There are times (in particular when I am super sick and in the hospital or have just had surgery etc) when I feel smoothered! There have been times when I have been in the hospital and have felt like I had so many visitors who stayed for so long that I felt like I had no idea how to keep my energy up enough to entertain everyone! I have at times actually had to tell the nurses to keep people way because either i was so sick that I couldn't have people in my room, or I was so tired from visits that I needed to sleep! I love having people that are close to me stop by to visit or say a prayer ... it gets so lonely when you are laid up sick. But I can get too much so always ask me if it is too tiring for me. (I know I touched on this in an earlier blog - but it bears repeating!) and it brings me to the thoughts for today:

I think one of the reasons people visit is because they don't know what to do to help someone who is super sick. So, here are some other ideas that can be helpful if you know that the person you love is sick and can't have too many visitors - or just ideas that you may not think of to show your concern:

1. Notes and cards - sometimes words of encouragment are the best thing and a card will be able to encourage over and over again. Bible verses are great too!

2. Meals - now that I am married I understand having to cook meals for my family even when i am not feeling like eating. some of the sweetest acts of love have been people bringing frozen food or soup or pudding over that I could reheat whenever I needed it!

3. cleaning house - it is always nice especially if you have been in the hospital to come home to a nice clean house - keep in mind that the sick person will almost NEVER actually tell you they need help cleaning so find a way to ge a key and clean or just show up and tell them that you are going to clean the house!

4. flowers - always a good cheery way to let someone know that you care.

5. running errads - it can be really hard to get out of the house and having someone offer to go to the bank, store, pick up medications can be so helpful - those things often get really backed up when you are sick!

One other thing: when someone (like me) is sick or in pain for a long time it can be easy to feel forgotten. Everyone is super helpful at first - but then you begin to feel just like a burden to everyone around you and even though you have bad days and bad weeks you feel like you don't have permission to be sick - and just a card or some of the helpful things that people do when you are "really" sick would be comforting from time to time. I have some very wonderful people in my life (my family and then friends!) who are great at remembering that sometimes some encouragment is good. To all of you I am so thankful!!


  1. Visitors in the hospital can really be a problem. My Dear Hubby doesn't even get upset anymore when I tell him not to visit when I am there. Even too many phone calls from friends can be exhausting.

  2. I don't want to discourage people from kind short visist - just to say that if you know someone in hospital that you check with family or with the staff to see how long you should visit or if there are better times than others. Just imagine what it would be like to have visitor when you have the tummy flu and keep in mind that the person you are visiting may feel that way!