Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Accept it

There is an important distinction between acceptance and giving up.  I've come close to giving up on my battle with my silly body in the past - but acceptance is something I am always in the process of learning.  Tonight, for example, (or rather this morning as it is 2:13 am) I am realizing that no matter how much I hate it, my illness is going to ruin my plans for tomorrow.  This might not seem like a big deal - since my plans are "just" to go to a ladies Bible study at our church.  But, Tuesday morning Bible study is my one (literally) regular social thing that is just for me.  (I know - pretty hoppin' social life right?!)  I enjoy just getting in the car and driving somewhere totally alone, and hanging out with ladies and singing together and learning cool stuff - and just being free from housework and my home business (even though I LOVE both having a home and husband to keep home for - AND my home business ... www.wildrosefloralcreations.com ) and everything.  So, tonight I am up and not sleeping because I feel yucky and nauseated for whatever reason: medications, pain -  whatever .. I really have no clue.  Not a rare feeling for me at all - but never a fun feeling for sure.  So, I have a feeling there will be no Bible study for me in the morning.

I started to feel all upset about this, but then I realized that it wouldn't do any good.  In fact it would probably just make me feel worse.  Accepting means that I can relax and know that even though I may be disappointed that God is still good.  Accepting means that I can just chill out and not stress it.  There is an old saying: "In acceptance lieth peace."  It's really true.  I can just rest in the peace that God knows what is going on in my body, and He knows that I am hurting and disappointed and frustrated with my health - and He is still God and He is right here with me no matter what.  Even though I'm all alone in the middle of the night, He is with me - and He loves me.  That gives me peace.  And oddly enough, that gives me joy even right here in this nauseous moment.

It's totally different than giving up.  I believe wholly in fighting hard for our health.  I am all for proving doctors and statistics wrong, I'm totally not for laying down and being a wimp and giving up.

But I'm also totally for embracing the peace that comes with acceptance.

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