Accept it

There is an important distinction between acceptance and giving up.  I've come close to giving up on my battle with my silly body in the past - but acceptance is something I am always in the process of learning.  Tonight, for example, (or rather this morning as it is 2:13 am) I am realizing that no matter how much I hate it, my illness is going to ruin my plans for tomorrow.  This might not seem like a big deal - since my plans are "just" to go to a ladies Bible study at our church.  But, Tuesday morning Bible study is my one (literally) regular social thing that is just for me.  (I know - pretty hoppin' social life right?!)  I enjoy just getting in the car and driving somewhere totally alone, and hanging out with ladies and singing together and learning cool stuff - and just being free from housework and my home business (even though I LOVE both having a home and husband to keep home for - AND my home business ... www.wildrosefloralcreations.com ) and everything.  So, tonight I am up and not sleeping because I feel yucky and nauseated for whatever reason: medications, pain -  whatever .. I really have no clue.  Not a rare feeling for me at all - but never a fun feeling for sure.  So, I have a feeling there will be no Bible study for me in the morning.

I started to feel all upset about this, but then I realized that it wouldn't do any good.  In fact it would probably just make me feel worse.  Accepting means that I can relax and know that even though I may be disappointed that God is still good.  Accepting means that I can just chill out and not stress it.  There is an old saying: "In acceptance lieth peace."  It's really true.  I can just rest in the peace that God knows what is going on in my body, and He knows that I am hurting and disappointed and frustrated with my health - and He is still God and He is right here with me no matter what.  Even though I'm all alone in the middle of the night, He is with me - and He loves me.  That gives me peace.  And oddly enough, that gives me joy even right here in this nauseous moment.

It's totally different than giving up.  I believe wholly in fighting hard for our health.  I am all for proving doctors and statistics wrong, I'm totally not for laying down and being a wimp and giving up.

But I'm also totally for embracing the peace that comes with acceptance.