Oh it's been a long day. Today I am extra thankful for aleve, and pillows, cable TV, my heating pad, and a shower. I really wish that shower was a bath tub - but warm water of any kind of very helpful on days like today.
When I focus on how I feel on days like this it can be discouraging. But, if I try hard there is always something good to think about. Oddly enough, today that good thing is my doctor.
I saw my pcp this week and it was a shock to me to hear her say a few things. First of all, she has been my main doctor for years and has seen me through a lot - finding specialists and reviewing all the test results etc. from every doctor I have seen. In the past before there were answers for my pain, she has stood up to questions other doctors had about if there was a cause for the pain I was having - and she rejoiced with me with each clue we uncovered about what was going on in my body. She never gave up thinking that there was something causing all these conditions that were attacking my body. She has walked with me through pain control and teaching me so much about how to deal with it on a daily basis. Yesterday she was looking over my latest test results which shed more light on everything when suddenly she turned to me and said: "I have learned so much through your situation and watching you go through everything you have endured over the years." She went on to say how my case has helped her grow as a doctor. Wow. I've always known that God could use my health to challenge people to turn to God, or encourage others who were "sick" - but I didn't really think much about how it could inspire my doctors and influence the direction they go in their practice. If my long health struggle could help even this one doctor to treat patients differently and to look deeper for the cause behind pain etc. it would be worth it. I am so thankful to have a doctor like her, and thankful that we have learned together over the years and I am sure we will continue learning and growing as we seek treatment options and see what the next chapter brings.
There is always something good that God can bring about from something bad. I do feel bad today, but I know God is using this in ways I don't even see for good.