Monday, April 4, 2011

HERE I am

Yesterday I sat with my sweet mama as we drove to a baby shower, and we talked about worship and being wives.  It was so refreshing and I just love my mama so much! 
"Here I am to worship. Here I am to bow down, Here I am to say that You're my God."

I find that the words to this praise song get stuck in my head a lot.  And I don't think it's an accident.  I have been noticing that the words come to me at "funny" times - like when I am cleaning the toilet, doing the dishes, folding my husband's socks, making dinner, talking to a friend who needs someone to listen when I don't feel like I have the time to be on the phone.  I have no question in my mind that the words to this song are put in my mind by God Himself.  He desires me to do everything for His glory - no matter how small or how "insignificant" - He can be worshipped through even simple things.   I am still a new wife - and part of the adventure with this blog has been to search being the best wife that I can be - with no excuses because of my health. In the "little" tasks of keeping a house and being a wife I want to worship God.  HERE I am to worship.

But, the words to this song go even deeper with me. 

When  I was a little girl if you had told me that I would grow up and NOT be able to grow a baby inside me I would have ... I probably would have felt that my life would be meaningless.  I wanted to have a baby - physically have a baby, more than any other thing in life.  If I would have known that at age 32 I would not have children (biological or adopted) I would have figured life was over for me.  If when I was 18 you would have told me I would be 30 by the time I got married I would have been shocked.  If you would have told me that I would be living in the US and not Africa and I would have thought that my life could not be worship to the God I longed (still long) to serve in mission work.  If you would have told me 3 years ago that Joshua and I would not be working on his family farm, I would have felt hopeless.  If you would have told me that I would be walking with my husband through school - having to be apart most days and evenings when we are still newlyweds I would have cried. 

But, in those times when I feel that the place I am in isn't one I would have chosen, God whispers these words into my heart: "HERE I am to worship.  HERE I am to bow down.  HERE I am to say that You're my God."  For very few of us life ends up exactly as we planned and dreamed.  We might look at other's lives and say that THAT would be a life that would be easy to worship God with every day -(if I was a missionary I could be really worshipping God every moment etc).  But, God has given to each of us a life.  And no matter where we are - that is the place we need to choose to worship God.  The world might think that to be really happy we need to have what we always dreamed of having.  In this blog I am exploring a different kind of happy - true and lasting joy that comes from acceptance of what God has allowed in our lives and turning to Him as our strength and ultimate joy.  When we choose to worship Him right where we are a deep an lasting joy overcomes everything else and we know that we are right where we should be. At the throne of grace.

Choose this day - right HERE to worship.

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