Today was such a beautiful day - an early spring day full of fresh air, flowers, and singing birds. But my body was giving an all out attack on me. I spent most of the day laying in my cozy blanket and pillow "nest" on the floor (somehow the firmness of the floor helps me deal with pain). My husband spend the day outside and when he came home from work he was raving about the weather and the way the grass was blowing in the wind - the feel of spring all around. He was practically beaming. And it made me happy. I want him to enjoy life to the full - and I know that there are things and ways of enjoying that he will have that I may never know ... and that is ok. When we are the chronically in pain spouse begin resenting the spouse who is "free of pain" (although no one really is), it puts deep strain on the relationship. I find that my joy is doubled when I see his joy in the beauty of the creation and the life that God has given to him.
His enjoyment brings the things that I am not allowed close to me ... and I can almost feel the sweet grass on my feet and the spring breeze in my hair just by seeing his smile.