Letting Go

I like to be in control. I guess I always have. I often take charge of something if no one else steps forward just because I want to see things get done and get done right. I have often found myself doing things that others should be doing just because they are taking too long to do it. I like to be in control. But I am not in control of my pain. I never know when it will be consuming. The worst thing is, I don't even know exactly what is causing some of it - so many things wrong with my body but how do they all fit together?

I am in deep pain today. I can't control it. It is making it impossible for me to do much at all except lay here on the couch. But I am happy. I am at peace. I know this might seem unbelievable but it is true. I think the reason is that I am learning to let go. No, I can't control this. But God is with me in it. He gives me peace. I don't have to control this ...

He is.