Thanks to those who have commented and encouraged me to keep going with this blog! I was talking with my husband the other day about how this commitment to do the blog every day is helping me to think clearly through moments when I am tempted to fall into the pitfalls of complain or self-pity or despair! Knowing that others are out there reading about my day to day (sometimes maybe boring) experiences makes me more intent on choosing joy in every moment.
I am getting ready to pursue a meeting with several doctors who specialize in rare and confusing cases - and whenever I am getting ready to meet new doctors I get scarred. But I just have to keep reminding myself that God is holding my life is His hand, and that He knows what is best. He knows what is going on in my body, and He knows the depth of pain that I can't express. I get scarred that the doctors won't understand what is going on, or that they will give up on me like many have before - but I need to remind myself that my hope is in God - not in doctors alone. He loves me like no one else could ever love. He is the reason that I can be happy - that have hope - that I love deeply. He is my everything.