Today I spent time with my family at a g-cart track for my brother's birthday. I couldn't race because of my health, but I made up my mind to enjoy the day anyway and to be involved in other's lives. I cheered my husband on as he raced. I sang happy birthday to my brother, I held my baby nephew. Even though I can't always be involved like I would like to be - I can be a good sport and be involved even if it isn't what I wanted. In fact, I would have liked very much to be at home with my heating pad. But I was feeling better than I had been, and I knew that I would be able to sleep all day tomorrow if I need to. I am learning to pick and choose things I can do to be involved with those that I love.
A danger of being sick or in pain (any type of pain)is that it can cause you to be separated from people. This is something that we (those who are sick or in pain) need to fight against all the time. I know that there are things that are impossible when you are feeling crummy. I am not saying that our lives will look the way a "normal" (what does that mean anyway?) person's life looks. I am saying that we need to think outside of the box and find new ways to be involved with people. If we don't we risk sinking into the hole of self-pity. When we are involved in other's lives it should make us think of others and learn to love others even when we feel incapable. Like I had said before, there are many ways we can be involved. The key is finding what you can do and being committed to do it. Not letting the bad days determine the good days. Sometimes I am so afraid of feeling horrible that even when I feel ok I don't go out, don't call anyone .... but life is not about fear. I want my life to be about much much more than me and any silly problems I may face -- I want it to be BIG. I want my life to be for others.